I was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism / Aspergers Syndrome a few years ago after events in my life guided me to seek professional insight into some of my own strengths and weaknesses.
And while I'll readily admit there are rough days due to some of the alleged weaknesses associated with Autism, I don't view myself as suffering.
Sure, some days my sensory issues are so bad I can't handle listening to music and driving at the same time. There are days when I can't handle the chatter of a crowd of people and have to avoid social situations where my differing abilities aren't accepted. (Though if I'm in a crowd where it's known and accepted I may shutdown, I'll happily hangout.)
But I don't view that as suffering. Because while bright lights and certain noises can be unbearable, I also notice lights and sounds and other details of the world that most people would miss. I catch subtle differences in things that bring out a level of beauty in my environment others usually miss. That beauty makes me smile, and I thank God for the gift he's given me, the ability to see the world through eyes most people don't experience, and through ears most people will never hear with.
And while I might not be thinking such positive thoughts when the tunnel vision sets in, when my sensory world starts to shutdown because my brain has had too much, it's still a marvel to me later. I get to experience life so abundantly that it shuts my mortal body down. Think about that. Scripture says if we could see God's glory, if we saw heaven in all of its wonder, it would kill us. I can only imagine.
If in this life, living in the Shadowlands this side of heaven, majesty of everyday life can make my body tune out, how much more splendid must eternity be?
I'm thankful for the life experience I've been blessed with.
No, as cliche as it may be, my biggest struggles are when people treat me as less than a person; when people treat me as broken instead of merely different. My biggest issues have been when people speak and interact with me as if I'm somehow less rational than they are, when they try to hold me back from trying to experience life because I might shutdown, or when they disrespect me because I've chosen to take it easy rather than socialize so I can handle necessary things in life such as my job, which puts food on the table and keeps a roof over my head. My biggest problems are when people criticize, shun, and disrespect me for not approaching life the way their controlling opinion of how I should be living dictates. If I'm keeping a roof over my head, food on my table, and am otherwise happy, you've no place telling me I'm living life wrong.
