Engagement story!

So...where to start. I'd had the ring for quite some time and Lydia knew it. This created a bit of a predicament. I wanted to surprise her. She'd always wanted an October wedding, which meant I needed to ask in enough time for her to plan, and it wasn't until this past October her dad had finally been ok with the idea. All that on top of the fact she was living 600 miles away and I only got to see her once a month/every other month gave me a narrow window to do the deed.
This left me with two options; my Christmas visit, or Valentines Day. And on top of that, I needed time to officially ask her dad's permission without her knowing. That last factor pretty much left Christmas.
I had an issue, though. Lydia is smart, and she suspected. This was going to take some planning.
As fortune had it, she wound up having to work the day after I got to Mississippi. And her dad was semi-free. So, I took advantage of the opportunity and obtained his blessing quietly. I'm still not sure if anyone was aware of our brief conversation. I had been helping Lydia's eldest brother install a game I got him for Christmas, and while we were waiting on the game to install, I slipped downstairs, cornered my future father-in-law, apologized for the informality, but explained my need for stealth. He granted his blessing and gave me a hug. Lydia came home from work and didn't suspect a thing. She did later ask if I had found a chance to ask him, but I feigned ignorance.
The actual asking was simple. She didn't want it to be extravagant or draw a lot of attention to her. Something nice and quiet was all she wanted.
I had the perfect plan. We were going to visit my extended family in Oklahoma, and on the way, there was a nice overlook with a beautiful view I planned on stopping at.
Mother nature had other plans. It was pouring rain when we got to that point in our journey. The question would have to wait.
We had a good time visiting my family. Lydia got to cause chaos with Cousin Beth, and really seemed to fit in well with everyone.
We left, and I had an issue. The overlook I had planned to use was only accessible from one side of I-40 - The West bound side.
So I had to improvise. A quick Googling showed that none of her favorite restaurants were along our route, or near any feasible alternate route, and time was running out.
So, I was evil and unromantic. I made her choose. Told her we should stop somewhere "nicer" for lunch, her pick. I had partially given up on secrecy. I kept hinting it needed to be somewhere nicer. She didn't catch on. She chose a Ci-Ci's pizza in Arkansas.
We got to lunch and filled our plates. I had the ring in my pocket, and waited for an opportune moment.
We had fun chatting, as always. We playfully picked on each other and just had fun. At one point, she lovingly informed me that I was working on getting myself into trouble.
This was it. As unromantic as it may sound, it was "us;" goofy, spontaneous, and last minute. Oh, and done right, quiet and unobtrusive, just like she wanted.
I asked her if there was anything I could do to get myself out of trouble. She told me, smile on her face, "probably not." With a deft move of my hand, I slipped the jewelry box out of my pocket and held it between us. Her face paused in that moment, and she started grinning from ear-ear and turned bright red.
I was almost at a loss for words. The realization that I had actually managed to pleasantly surprise her, I quietly asked, "Lydia, you're an amazing woman, and I love you...will you marry me?"
She started nodding, smile still radiantly stuck on her face, before she managed to quietly say, "Yes."
She slipped off the promise ring I had given her before she moved so many months ago, and I slipped the diamond onto her hand.
We just snuggled in our booth then, holding hands and talking. At one point she asked me if I had actually asked her dad for his blessing (not that it changed her answer, she just didn't realize I had done it) and we got dessert and headed out.
As soon as we got in my car, out came the cell phones, changing relationship statuses on Facebook. We then headed back to Mississippi and her family. We spent New Year's with her grandma in the southern part of the state.
I have to close with this tidbit, though. Lydia is NOT a very ego-centric girl. While she's very people-friendly, she's not one to flaunt herself. So I have to tease her. We were at a bookstore near her house a day after she got engaged. We were checking out, and the cashier asked Lydia if she'd had a good Christmas. Without pause, Lydi replied, "Oh yes," and almost shoved her left hand in the poor girl's face. I was totally shocked; so was Lydia when she realized what she'd done, and we both shared a good laugh.
Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

M'Lenae

I wrote my previous post almost a year ago now. A lot has happened in that time. A lot of good, some shadows, but the end result is going to be amazing and I can only thank God for hearing this poor man's cry.
The Sunday after I wrote that post, I'd stayed up late. Didn't plan on going to church the following morning. Nowhere in the radius of my meager gas budget seemed worth my time.
God had other plans.
What I say next may sound crazy, or supersticious, but regardless of opinion, it happened. To me.
I woke up early the next morning. It was like God was telling me to get my butt out of bed & go to church.
I felt strangely rested, despite having been up til 3 or 4 am. I didn't have "I'm tired" as an excuse. I had "church" clothes clean, no excuse there.
I was grasping at straws, "God, there's nowhere worth going, I'm treated like a leper everywhere." I pleaded.
But a specific place kept coming up in my mind. A specific church, well within my gas limitations.
I had no excuse left, so I got dressed & ready. Googled service times in a last ditch effort to find any reason to stay home. No excuse there.
As I drove to this church I'd never been to, I kept telling God, "if nobody says hi to me, or makes me feel welcome, I'm not staying. I'm walking out."
I didn't know anyone there and was so fed up with "Christians" not being kind to me I really didn't feel like getting hurt again.
I arrived at the building and went inside. At first, I stood awkwardly inside the sanctuary. For a few tense minutes, I was hopeful I'd get to leave this foreign place. Then a couple of people started to talk to me. I don't remember who they were, but my initial instinct was they didn't really feel like saying hello, they just felt obligated to.
I was within a hair's breadth of walking out.
I was within a hair's breadth of missing out on the biggest and best thing that ever happened to me.
As I was talking to those ladies, a vaguely familiar face came across the sanctuary, smiling.
I had met this girl while working and hanging out at a game store I had been employed at, Boardwalk and Park Place. Her name, as she reminded me at the time, was Lydia. I'd always had fun talking with her whenever she'd stop by the store to hang out.
We got to talking, she invited me to sit with her.
She was friendly. Something I didn't expect out of any Christian. Not from my past few years' experience.
I got to know her better & better over the next few weeks, glad to finally have a friend I could talk to about anything and everything. She didn't judge the mistakes I had made, and she and I had an endless ammount of interests and similarities.
I always looked forward to chatting with "my little friend" as I thought of her. (Sorry, Lydi, I don't know if I ever told you that.. :) )
Then she threw me a curve ball. Part of me way down deep had suspected this, but I disbelieved my suspicion enough the revelation took me back.
Lydia told me she had developed feelings for me.
I was kinda pleasantly surprised, but scared spitless at the same time.
But one thing finally won out, an old piece of wisdom; "you marry your best friend."
And Lydia had swiftly become that.
I don't trust easily. Not anymore. But that sweet little angel had done more to earn my trust in a few weeks than many had done in years. And she still does.
I could go into a lot more, but I won't here.
The rest, as both Lydia and I like to call it, is, "A Love Story."
We're engaged to be married this coming October. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her. She's amazing. No person is perfect, I get that. But God made her perfect for me, and I'm eternally grateful.
Thank you, Lydia. You're an amazing girl, a wonderful woman, and I love you with all my heart.

Musing

He was faced with a bitter choice; fight, fly, or freeze. He couldn't fly, and he didn't freeze. And men of God condemned him for his choice.
Is he so low that he should allow himself to be battered? Is God's shepherd so high that he may declare such violence as God's will?
No one else makes such a declamation. They understand.
He cries:
Lord, why can't Your people understand? I want to be in your house. I want to feel Christian love. But every time I try, all I hear are that minister's damning words. And I wonder if any shepherd could ever see me as anything but an animal you must not corner. A beast, a demon, a bomb.
This man just wants to go his way. Maybe be loved, be held by a sweet someone who doesn't mind his pain, his scars. He doesn't wish for wealth or fame. He just wants to live, to love, and have someone who views him the same.
He's tired of viewing others suspiciously. He is tired of wondering if they will force him to choose to fight, fly, or freeze.
He just wants a place he can worship and a woman he can trust. He's buried his heart so deep, and no one wants to dig it up. And that truth is killing him.
Where are the Christians for him?
Not knocking on his door. Not inviting him to come to church with them. He won't come to any general invitation. Life has wounded him to the point he must be coaxed, like a wounded animal, gently, slowly. And like a wounded hawk loves and is loyal to his healer, so will he be. Who will reach him, Christian? Or will he be lost to the void?